Alphabet Soup: Kisses in the moonlight
by Windfighter
Summary: After Tuuri's death Lalli is alone. Will the one he pushed away still be there for him?


Another story for the Alphabet Soup Challenge!

 **Warnings:** A kiss, sadness, a bit of Swedish. Don't worry if you don't understand it, Lalli doesn't either.

* * *

 _I never liked your annoying face anyway._

But now he needed that annoying face. He needed to know he wasn't alone, that the one who called himself his friend would be there no matter what. But Emil was asleep inside the tent together with everyone else. Everyone except Tuuri, because she was gone and now Lalli was alone. He had no idea how Onni was doing, only knew that by sending Kokko to their aid his cousin and mentor might have paid with his life. There was only Emil and perhaps he had lost him too.

 _I never liked your annoying face anyway._

Lalli hugged himself, didn't allow himself to succumb to sadness. He had to keep going, had to at least get everyone safetly to the shore. It was the only thing he could do.

Steps echoed behind him but he didn't turn around. It was just Emil, probably up to visit the toilet or something.

"Hej."

Lalli stopped breathing. Emil came up to his side, looked towards the sky.

"Förlåt för att jag hållit mig undan."

Emil's voice was soft, apologetic and Lalli understood the word sorry. He didn't look at Emil.

"Jag vet hur du känner dig."

That voice again, like Emil though he knew what Lalli was experiencing. He turned his back to Emil.

"My mother..."

Emil's voice quivered, then he let out a sigh.

"It's not about me though. How are you?"

Emil's hand on Lalli's shoulder, a light squeeze. Lalli took a shaky breath. Emil cared. In his own clumsy way he still cared and still wanted to help Lalli. But Lalli wouldn't succumb to sadness. He looked at Emil, at those gentle, worried eyes that were always looking out for him in their own way.

"Thought I lost you too", he mumbled.

Emil didn't understand, might not have heard and Lalli looked at him, let his eyes take in all of Emil.

"It's tearing at you too. Why?"

Emil still didn't understand. Lalli's hand gently touched his cheek.

"You've been crying."

"I'm sorry", Emil answered. "This should be about you and I... It happened again. I seem to bring that fate to people around me."

Emil's eyes shifted to the moon, Lalli looked at it as well. He wasn't entirely sure what Emil had said, what he had been talking about. Emil's hand grabbed Lalli's and Lalli tensed up.

"Please don't die, Lalli. I can't loose you too."

"Won't", Lalli squeezed Emil's hand.

They stood in silence, watched as the moon moved across the sky. Lalli glanced at Emil, wondered what went through his mind. Something had changed in him, or had it always been there and Lalli simply hadn't seen it?

 _If our lives had anything in common, you wouldn't be able to smile._

Lalli had been wrong, Emil had experienced loss and was still able to smile. They were so different but maybe... Maybe Lalli could learn to smile as well.

" _...friends."_

There had been something before the word friends in Emil's speech, he hadn't understood it then.

 _"_ _åtminstone"_

Lalli clenched his hand, looked at his fist. Emil never initiated fistbumps with the others. Was it important? Did it mean anything? Emil glanced at him, tilted his head and Lalli looked at the moon again, let his hand fall to his side. Emil was there, he wasn't alone, but could he trust that Emil would always be there? How could he ask when Emil didn't understand him?

"Vi kommer åtminstone vara vänner", Lalli said, repeating the words from Emil's speech. "Friends."

Emil looked at him and Lalli squeezed his hand.

"If I want something else, will you leave?"

Emil didn't understand, he could tell. Lalli let out a sigh, turned to face Emil. He could feel a blush creeping onto his cheeks and Emil's confused blushing face matched Lalli's feelings perfectly. It was too early, but he needed to know, had to, and this was the only way. Quickly he closed the gap between them, locked Emil's lips with his. Any second now Emil would pull away, and then he would get confirmed what he already knew; that he was destined to be alone. Any second now.

But Emil didn't pull away.


End file.
